surviving..
Message especially for Deanna:
Thanks for helping me settle things with the finance office. Really appreciate it!
You've been tag! Cheers!!!
Now is
I never knew that I'm actually very sensitive and emotional as well... Normally I hold back my feelings and refuses to show my emotions for fear of other people's judgement and also to withstand my own personality. But I recently realized that I strongly feel things around me and it eats up all of my strength just to hide those emotions inside. People say you'll die faster if you shut up emotions.
Coming back to Thailand gives me a lot of chills compared to what it used to be before. Maybe because of uncertainty and making choices. Being in Sabah for almost a month basically has more or less changed my perspectives to normal compared to what I perceived here in Bangkok and I don't know why. Going back for good seemed to be OK now but there's still this incomplete quest somehow just constantly sucking me back to sit and win the search before I could go on.
So, basically what you're reading is what life is for me now.
Hey Fiona, Happy Birthday!!! :lol:
Lazin Around...
Met two beautiful friends just now. Eta & Eda. Went to makan and 'keliling' Wisma. Oh ya...when I was about to go out this morning, I met a lot of Timurist people (orang timur) coming down from the vans and buses. Then one lady was passing right in front of me. I was oblivious to almost dunno how to react. Then I decided to look at my ugly slippers. As I did that, she said "pigi mana?" Then I smiled "pigi Inanam...". And she smiled back and went. Then I thought...I should be the first one to greet her since this is my country and I'm a citizen here but instead she came to me first with a "hi". I felt so embarassed with myself for behaving in such a way. This simple happenings of course taught me a lot of lessons. My thoughts kept flowing and waking me up to be more alert to how I treat other people.
Being in Quarantine
Life's getting too mundane and sometimes or too many times I feel out of place whenever I go out. Why ah??? I must admit I really miss Bkk and MC and really hope that I can go back this month end.
Helping out a lot with the Women's Ministry here and sometimes I see myself as a married woman since most of my close friends are married but thinking of being married gives me chills all over since my friends really changed a lot in their appearance, their timing, and almost everything. I'm not quite ready to make those changes yet. Not yet.
